How to Deal With an Attached Mother
Mother's can be overbearing at times. They can invade personal space, be demanding and sometimes they just won't go away. You're not necessarily the problem. A mother's attachment to a child may be an innocent side effect of loving her offspring. However, it also can be more serious in cases when a mother has emotional problems preventing her from living her own life free from her child. No matter the situation, it's important for you to have an independent life that doesn't involved your mother all the time.
Ask your mother for some space and boundaries. It's OK for you to keep your mom around for certain occasions, such as going out to eat, celebrating a birthday or to visit via a phone call to catch up. However, let her know that she's crossing boundaries when she comes over unannounced and then stays well beyond a comfortable time with you. Be polite in asking your mom to respect your boundaries. Asking in a rude manner may trigger anger or hurt her feelings.
Set up "quality time" meet-ups with your mother. This may be coffee once a week or catching a movie here and there. Making a plan with her that lets her know that you'll see her soon may tone down her need to push into your life too much. She may find comfort in knowing that you will make time for her.
Ask your mom to see a psychologist or psychiatrist if her attachment to you seems too extreme. She may be dealing with loneliness, depression or a controlling attitude. This may be too much for you to handle. Therefore, a professional may be able to work with her on a mental level and prescribe a medication if necessary. Be polite when asking her to do this. She may take offense if you ask her in a way that surprises her or catches her off guard. It's important to choose the right words to get your message across properly without hurting her feelings.